Do You Make Assumptions about Other People?
I often find when I’m doing spiritual coaching that many problems arise when clients make assumptions about other people.
This can occur when they are expecting to hear from someone and they don’t, or when someone has done something they don’t agree with. The list could go on—but suffice it to say, they decide why a person is not responding or acting the way they would like them to act, and then pass judgment. This is usually followed with anger and frustration that disrupts their serenity and gets them off-course.
All of this could be avoided, if they just stopped assuming and took the time to consider that there could be something going on in the person’s life. And then instead of continuing to focus on the other person, refocus on themselves and let Divine Timing and Divine Orchestration play out. All will generally be revealed at some point.
Walking in the shoes of another….or many others.
While I’ve always taken the above sentiment to heart, and remind myself of this whenever I am interacting with others, it wasn’t until a few years ago that I saw firsthand how meaningful this practice can be.
I was on a panel about writing that was being televised in front of a live audience. There were five writers, including myself. The woman sitting on my left wore an ill-fitting outfit. Interesting, I thought, but perhaps she feels she looks her best. That’s all that really matters.
The panel started then, and the moderator began asking each of us certain questions about writing. When it was time for the woman beside me to answer, I was a bit shocked when she cussed several times during her answer.
Rather than becoming offended, because believe me, I’ve done my share of cussing, I thought, well, this isn’t the appropriate time for those words, but I don’t know her whole story.
After the panel ended, each of us authors set up tables with our books. I was within earshot of the writer I had sat next to. At one point, I heard her say something that made my jaw drop. It turns out the day before the panel, her entire home burned down with all of her belongings in it. She was wearing a friend’s clothing, which is why her outfit didn’t fit too well.
I immediately thought, how remarkable that she honored her commitment to appear at the panel. How many people would have done so? The fact that she showed up spoke volumes. Many more volumes than ill-fitting clothing and a few off-color words.
It’s easy when you have interactions with others who bother you to make assumptions and condemn. But truly, you’ve never walked in another’s shoes until you’ve walked in them.
When you know a person’s full story, imagining yourself in their shoes can offer more understanding and compassion and sometimes respect than you ever imagined.
